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| Letter From Mom: |
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Dear Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they would't have to change their address. This place is really nice, it even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though; last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather is nice. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your uncle Sam said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on it, so I cut them off and put them in the pockets. Ed locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took two hours to get me and your dad out. Uncle Tom fell in a whiskey vat last week, some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. A few of your friends went off a bridge in a picken up truck, two of them drowned because they were in the back and couldn't get the tail gate down. There ain't much more news at this time, nuthin much has happened.
Love,
Mom
P.S. I was goin send you sum money but the envelope was already sealed.
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