You might be a redneck if...
...the pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
...anyone in your family's ever died after saying "Hey ya'll watch this."
...you let your 12 year old daughter smoke in front of her kids.
...your house has more miles on it than your car.
...your email address contains the words @overyonder.com.
...you consider your pick-up a luxury vehicle.
...you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car.
...your bathtub has a transmission in it.
...you took your sister to the prom.
..."Nice tooth." is a compliment.
...your toothbrush really is your "toothbrush".
...you can't remember a month when you weren't in jail.
...you have more dogs than the local shelter.
...your house alarm eats alpo.
...burglars try to break out of your house.
...you go to the local gas station to use a phone.
...the Sears catalogue is the best book in the house.
...they had to tie a bone around your neck when you were little so the dogs would play with you.
...your major was shop class.
...you have more cars that don't run, than ones that do.
...you have an empty steel drum in your front yard.
...your sister's "dates" pay her in cash.
...your little black book really used to be white.
...you don't own a piece of clothing without a grease stain on it.
...you think "Manual Labor" is the name of a Mexican.
